Sex-Pos­i­tiv­i­ty Means Unlearn­ing Shame

For years, I believed that some­thing was wrong with me for being curi­ous about sex for plea­sure. I felt wrong for fan­ta­siz­ing about being sex­u­al­ly inti­mate with some­one. I saw sex as some­thing strange and dan­ger­ous, not just for the phys­i­cal risks it posed to the body, but for how quick­ly it could low­er one’s social worth. So, I sup­pressed my sex­u­al desires. I learned to be ashamed of them.

Boy can I relate to those words. I grew up with a het­ero­nor­ma­tive and reli­gious view of sex, so there’s nev­er been a short­age of shame to feel over hav­ing sex, talk­ing about sex, or even think­ing about sex. I grew up hat­ing that I had sex­u­al desire at all.

Thank­ful­ly, that era of my life is over and I’ve embraced sex-pos­i­tiv­i­ty. Con­sen­su­al sex is a pos­i­tive thing, and I cel­e­brate it as the beau­ti­ful human expe­ri­ence it is.